I spent the day today with a friend who I have recently reconnected with after not having much contact for maybe 10 years. She moved here 7 years ago (which is why we lost touch). It was nice to chat with her about what it means to be a “trailing spouse” and how unsettling it can be. Because our main role is to stand by and support the spouse who has secured paid employment here, as well as our children who have school & other kid activities to attend, many times our own sense of who we are, what we want to do and be and how we’re going to get there, is put on a back burner indefinitely. She talked of a feeling of “coasting” of having one’s footing shaken loose. I know that feeling well. I have heard so many of my friends here allude to this same feeling. But on reflection, maybe this upheaval is actually good for the soul? The friends I mention are all creative, curious, compassionate women who question and process and have carved new niches for themselves, rather than cowering in fear and uncertainty about what the future holds for them. Here again, it’s all about perspective. I really like the idea of opening up to this uncertainty and allowing it to reveal opportunities for creativity & risk taking. Being responsible for one’s own happiness, come what may, is what’s important.
After our chat, my friend and I felt the need for some retail therapy in Little India. This is one of my favorite places in Singapore and it’s where I go to recharge. The sounds of everyday celebrations and squabbles, the pungent scent of turmeric and cumin, the leathery old men sitting outside the stores imploring “Yes Mahdahm, come and have a look!” and the riot of colorful fabrics and bejeweled saris hanging from doorways never fail to revive me. It’s not a bad place to go to be inspired to create either. Namaste.
